Monday, December 14, 2015

If Only In My Dreams

Karen Carpenter made me cry.

Christmas has its hard moments for those, like me, who have lost loved ones. Home for the holidays is right here. I make it. I am making it. But I do sometimes long to be the kid again, with my parents and my brothers and sister. Back when I did not realize all the hard work that goes into making a Christmas, Christmas. Back when Christmas was magical. I miss the people I love so much.

I miss my family.

Here I am in Arizona. Very slim chance of a white Christmas (and that's okay!). Making a home with my new family, people I love, celebrating the birth of our Savior, creating new traditions for my children to keep and maybe pass down to their children.

This year we have Mr. Bee's dad joining us - he is recently widowed. And we have daughter Lucy's boyfriend - his family is lives on the other side of the country, and we have Lucy's dog that she rescued. Three others who are not home for Christmas this year. And we will try our best to make our home into their home, and share our happiness and food and drinks and fun.

For a moment Karen Carpenter brought me to tears because I miss those who have gone on. I would not feel so sad if I didn't have happy memories of Christmases past.

It really is a privilege and a responsibility to make Christmas for others. And I must say, have been truly blessed to have had a home that I miss.

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