Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It was worth all the while

Word reached me this week that an old friend died. Technically he was an old boyfriend. Even more precisely, my ex-fiance.

It was a long time ago. It ended badly. My fault.

Do I regret breaking up with him?....No. I was miserable. I loved him but not the way a wife should love a husband. I didn't love him the way he loved me. I didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved -- Unconditionally.

We exchanged a few emails about 7 years ago. The last time we talked was over 25 years. Yet this has really hit me hard.

He was relatively young (mid-forties). Wife & kids. Grandbabies too.

I have an easier time accepting that I will die someday than I do accepting that my loved ones, friends, family, etc. have to go too.

Yes there are lots of comforting Bible passages for times like these. Some terrific hymns too.

But I think he'd like Green Day:

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life


Unashamed said...

I'm really sorry Sue.

Thursday's Child said...

I'm so sorry, Sue.

My FIL passed away earlier this week and it's always a shock.

God bless you.

sara said...

I'm so sorry.

Sue Bee said...

Thank you all! I am sorry I have been AWOL from blogging for so long. I really intend to start visiting your blogs regularly once again -- miss you all -- and trying to post something interesting once and awhile. :-)